“How to Handle Office Gossip … When It’s About You,” by Joseph Grenny

 Wed 07 Sept 2022

So, You Found Out That a Colleague Is Talking About You Behind Your Back

What should you do if you find out a colleague has been gossiping about you? Here's how to handle the awkwardness. (1) First, let whoever broke the news know that you plan to discuss it with the guilty gossiper—not to start an argument, but to engage in a candid and respectful dialogue. (2) Then, when you confront the gossiper, focus first on what they said. Be humble. Don’t frame the conversation as “Shame on you for talking behind my back,” but rather as “If I’ve failed you in some way, I really want to understand how." If there’s merit to the person’s concerns, you get the benefit of the feedback, and you also demonstrate maturity and accountability. Don’t be deterred if the person starts by claiming misunderstanding or minimizing their statements. Reiterate your desire for feedback and urge them to be forthcoming about any concerns. (3)  Finally, ask them for a commitment that, in the future, you’ll hear the complaint directly from them—and promise them the same yourself.

This tip is adapted from “How to Handle Office Gossip … When It’s About You,” by Joseph Grenny