Set Boundaries with Your Chatty Coworker

 

Set Boundaries with Your Chatty Coworker

It can be a nice break to chat with colleagues. But what should you do if you have a coworker who goes on endlessly, monopolizing your time and wearing down your patience? You don’t have to just sit through their monologues. Set clear and respectful boundaries so you can focus on what matters, while maintaining your relationship. (1) Start by preempting their request when the conversation begins. You might say, “I only have 10 minutes to chat right now” or “I have a hard stop at the top of the hour.” (2) Don’t feel like you have to provide an explanation, but if you do, use “I” language to show ownership over the reason (and prevent any potential pushback). For example, you might say, “I’m on a deadline,” or “I feel overstretched at the moment.” (3) And, of course, you may have to interrupt if they get on a tear. Do so politely: “Can I jump in to share my thoughts here?” And if that doesn’t work, interject more forcefully. (4) Try an assertiveness technique called “the broken record,” where you state one phrase repeatedly in an even-handed tone. For example, you can say the person’s name: “John, John, John — excuse me, but I have to get back to work.” This isn’t easy but the more you set those boundaries, the more you’ll prove to yourself — and others — that your time and energy are as valuable as anyone else’s.

This tip is adapted from “How to Set Boundaries with a Chatty Colleague,” by Melody Wilding