Reframe That Difficult Conversation to Calm Your Nerves

October 19, 2017

Reframe That Difficult Conversation to Calm Your Nerves

If you’re getting ready for a conversation that you’ve labeled “difficult,” you’re more likely to feel nervous, stressed, angry, or upset. To minimize those negative emotions, try to think of the discussion as a non-charged conversation. For example, instead of a discussion being about negative feedback, think of it as a constructive conversation about development. Or, you’re not saying “no” to your boss; you’re offering up an alternative solution. These kinds of discussions tend to go best when you think of them as normal conversations and approach them with curiosity and openness. Of course, don’t try to fool yourself. Be honest about how hard the conversation might be, but put as constructive a frame on it as possible. You might tell yourself: “We may have to talk about difficult things, but we’ll work through them together, because Josh and I have always respected each other.”

Adapted from the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, by Amy Gallo