Conflict ; what's your default response ? Fight, Flight or Freeze ?

May 25, 2017

Do You Seek Conflict, or Avoid It?

When it comes to conflict, there are two types of people: those who avoid it and those who seek it out. Avoiders tend to shy away or even hide from disagreements. They prize harmony and relationships with their coworkers. Seekers are eager to engage in conflict when it arises (or even find ways to create it). They tend to care most about directness and honesty. Neither style is better, and your default depends on a lot of things: your past experiences with conflict, the conventions of the culture you’re from or work in, organizational context, and even gender norms. Knowing which style you gravitate toward will help you make a conscious choice about how to address a disagreement. If you’re an avoider, for example, your instinct may be to ignore the situation. But knowing that it’s your natural tendency can help you overcome your resistance to addressing the issue.

Adapted from HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, by Amy Gallo